Y: You dream about naive girls? Innocent blooms, unspoiled by the cruel life and dreary reality?
X: Working as secretaries. Aha.
Y: Secretary is an important part of the charm?
X: Yeah, it means she is nice-looking and patient. Plus she could become my personal secretary.
Y: Oh! You already need a personal secretary?! But you don’t expect me to pay her salary, I hope.
X: Nah! She will have to do it for free, of coz, it's like a favour: I would _let_ her be my secretary.
Y: Wouldn’t a red-haired green-eyed country girl be even better? Maybe those can still be fooled into believing that work with charming artistic geniuses is a privilege they should be thankful for.
X: Who knows maybe she looks exactly like that - red-hair... big... mmm... green eyes. Country girls are usually are too practical and have loads of poor relatives.
Y: Just imagine the relatives spreading your fame at every ceilidh! You could become a folk legend before you publish your first masterpiece.
X: Nah, they would spread rumours about a nasty, arrogant and greedy exploiter, who spoiled their naive girl. On the other hand, it's a great promotion, yeah.
Y: Yes! But country girls usually aren’t good typists... though on the other hand they tend to be magnificent cooks... difficult choice.
X: I can go out for a meal. But can I go out for typing? That's the question.
Y: No, but you can easily charm a stenotypist. Maybe by taking her out for meal with you.
X: Aha, that's what I am talking about!
Y: But first you should find out if your potential victim can type at all. And make coffee / tea – that’s the crucial thing.
X: Shite! Maybe when she asked my advice for lunch she hoped I'd invite her somewhere???
Y: Ha!!! Very well possible. And you failed picking up the hint. How can you blame her for not picking up the hint at Shakespeare?
X: I don't mind if she can't make coffee but can make cocktails. Open beer... clean the flat... aha, if she has a flat, it's even better.
Y: Flat? OK. And how about car? And driving licence, of course. This way you will save money on a personal driver.
X: Sounds good! But if she is too young for a driving licence, I don't mind.
Y: Too young? Hey!!!! You don’t want to employ an under-age child, do you???
X: Who is talking about employment??????
Y: Oh, sorry. Revised question: You don’t want to misuse an under-age child, do you???
X: Nah, I want to right-use her.
Y: What a relief. But don’t expect that I will run to fetch you bodyguards when angry parents rush in...
X: Aha, that's why I am against loads of relatives. Not that I wish her to be orphaned but... if there was an orphan whom I could adopt... it would be a nice deed, right?
Y: Yeah, good idea. Shane once almost did the same.
X: But it was an illiterate boy! And I am looking for a literate girl!
Y: Yes, that’s why he soon got rid of the burden.
X: Which way? He got rid of him?
Y: Hmm... who knows. Maybe he just blinded him with a scarf and led him to the middle of a deep forest from which the boy could never find the way out (and return banging on Shane’s door, demanding attention). That is the mild variant.
X: More severe to sell him to some pub, to wash glasses. Shite! We could trade him for a girl...
Y: Damn, yeah. Couldn’t you try inquiring to Shane about him? Maybe nothing is lost yet. Maybe he still keeps the brat in his closet.
X: I'll check his closet. Which one that is another question...
Y: Hmm, maybe you are right. Shane would more likely put the boy into the other closet. What would he do among clothing, yeah?
X: Yeah! Shane's wardrobe is occupied already! That's why I thought about toilet.. mmm, bathroom, as nobody uses it directly, you know.
Y: The boy stays in the bathroom all the time, no food, no warm human company...
X: Rats and spiders.
Y: Good. Some warm-hearted company after all. I was beginning to worry that he will grow up to be asocial.
X: Well, sometimes when girls with boyfriends get invited, the boy is asked to free the bathroom and accompany the boyfriend for a while.
Y: Oh, so he gets a barman training, yeah? Good education.
X: You see! Everything's OK with him!
Y: Yes. Poor child from the far east finally learns the benefits of civilization.
X: So Shane has done a good deed, why not me? Good influence of a genuis, treasure, legend, etc.
Y: But if we trade the boy for a female secretary, we will spoil the good deed Shane did.
X: It means I have to rely on meself only! And pick up a girl somewhere.
Y: But she must be poor! Neglected! Otherwise it will not be a charitable deed, just spoiling an innocent thing.
X: Why poor? I don't mind picking up a wealthy girl... Why not? With a flat and a car!
Y: Poor in the meaning of "desperate", "lonely" and so on. Don’t search for money behind everything.
X: I thought you meant literaly - poor...
Y: No, no - such a brat would only suck your funds! (No matter if they are non-existent, it would still be shameful.) Desperate wealthy orphan suffering from emotional neglect - OK?
X: With a typist bent! Who can make tea and margarita...
Y: Be careful!! Do you want to be in trouble with the police for exposing a child to alcohol?
X: She would make it, not drink it.
Y: Always say that you show her alcohol only to teach her about its horrors. Giving her a bad example to make her a better person.
X: Surely! So maybe I should show her some drugs too, to prepare her to say straight „no“ to them, yeah?
Y: Well, if you show her a very small pack of smack kept in your shoe, nothing more...
X: OK, an edge of a pack!!!!!!
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