***
VOICE#1: Btw, hope that Sean <indecipherable> clarified this matter to you:
"I would guess that the great humanitarian Joey <indecipherable> had no hand or part in Shane doing
this tsunami gig."
VOICE#2: We didn't discuss it! He just told that he will be later, after 14th as he wants to see Celtic Connection gig...
VOICE#1: Arrgghh, I wanted to hear that Joey himself organized the gig and donated 1 million euros (or pounds) to Indonesia. Would be good for promotion...
VOICE#2: We can adhere to this position! Plus adopted 12 little worms...
VOICE#1: And rescued a half-starved drowning baby by feeding him his last piece of bread. That always sounds well.
VOICE#2: Hmmm... Won’t they call him paedophile?
VOICE#1: They will. We need one of <indecipherable> to play a caring mother and dispell all the accusations.
VOICE#2: They'll start screaming about bad influence!! Lechery in children presence, that's awful!!!!
VOICE#1: Lechery?! I said caring mother, a sex-abstinent!
VOICE#2: I have certain doubts about that "children involving" charity... Maybe it would be better never mention it!
Just 1 million donation... absolutely neutral...
VOICE#1: Donating a bit of the sum directly to orphans might help.
VOICE#2: They will say he offered money for sex!!!!
VOICE#1: OK, lets stick just to money. Though some heroic deed would be a "golden point"...
VOICE#2: He rescued a pair of elephants? Mmm? Or giant turtles. We can even present a pile of 'elephants' muck... as an evidence
VOICE#1: The biggest turtle that has ever walked the earth (or swam the seas). Greenpeace might come to congratulate him – and he might crown his show by donating some bucks to them. What about that?
VOICE#2: OK, turtle muck!
VOICE#1: Joey’s clothes will have to be stained by it... to make things believable...
VOICE#2: OK, he will be in tuxedo onstage but Greenpeacer can show his t-shirt with signs of his feat!
VOICE#1: White tuxedo?
VOICE#2: Green tuxedo! And he will decently drop his eyes and start picking the stage with his toe...
VOICE#1: And then he will bow and pull a tiny frog out of his boot. Another saved creature! And enormously rare species. Hooray!
VOICE#2: So we got the scenario!
VOICE#1: Yes! Now you have to contact Joey and I will hire Greenpeacers .
VOICE#2: Oh! He should play cupla tunes, whistle and sax, and Shane will come onstage and light his fag... in the very end... everybody will think Shane will do a song but he will just light Joey's fag and fuck off... wiping his eyes in deep emotions...
VOICE#1: Brilliant!! And Shane will then go to clean up some devastated beach, hand in hand with Vicky....
VOICE#2: Yes! And they will be together ever after, team work unites!
VOICE#1: Yes!! And Ronan and Maire will sing Fairytale Of NY over the happy-ending credits.
VOICE#2: You call it happy end?????? It's not a thriller, have mercy!!
VOICE#1: We need some dramatic flavour!! And you saw how Ronan is able to stir up emotions!
The end of the tape
photo © unknown
