"I heard that they will just bring out a cardboard cut-out of him during songs he sings and just play his album vocal tracks while the band plays real time." (comment of the Pogues fora member, regarding Shane’s presence at the upcoming Pogues gigs)
	Cardboards, Cut-outs, Catastrophes ***
		X: Joey is a cut-out carrier. And that's how the myth about Joey who spends nights in the same room with Shane was born. He keeps this cut-out there, under his bed. Y: And sometimes takes it out - just to have company? X: Aha. To have somebody to care about... Y: When real Shane cruelly deserts him? Or when he wants to have a break from real Shane? X: When he needs some attention and understanding. Y: I hope he doesn’t keep Shane alone too much, being his only assistant. You read what he did in December - going to London, travelling by ferry, and leaving Shane on his own. X: Who said he was going to London? Y: OK – to some mysterious location. Going to obtain cardboard Shane or to visit a chick. X: Both. She is a master of cuttings. Y: So maybe apart from creating cardboard masterpieces, she also masterly cuts Joey’s hair? X: And wealth. Y: Mastery doesn’t come cheap... X: I wonder how they make cut-out Shane smoke cigs? Y: Maybe they introduced cut-out Shane as a reaction to the Irish smoke ban. Cut-out, non-smoking Shane. (Who would like to pay penalties for breaking the ban, huh?) But real Shane spoiled the whole concept by appearing onstage with a cig again... So now they constantly face the demanding task of making the cut-out smoke without setting him on fire. Who knows how many of them (cut-outs) already burnt to ash... X: Another challenge for shaky handed Joey... Y: Yeah. And imagine his horror when he fails... How he hurriedly rushes to extinguish his cut-out mate. X: He takes him backstage, to the bathroom. Y: And in emergency cases he sprays him with that white chemical stuff, you know from those red fire-extinguishers. Cupla times he sprayed real Shane by mistake when Shane dropped a cig on himself. Joey just didnt realize that Shane’s belly would not burn as easily as the cardboard, so he rushed to save the situation.... And as a result Shane is afraid of fire-extinguishers now. X: He is afraid of any red baloon. Y: Yes! So poor those who try to organize a party with red baloons for him. X: Anyway, if all rescue-attempts are futile and the cardboard can’t be saved, then real Shane has to step in... Y: As a guest. Pretending to be Ronnie Drew. *** "THE POGUES are pleased to announce the third and final show of their Summer Festival mini-tour celebrating their 25th Anniversary year. THE POGUES will headline all shows. The POGUES are: Philip Chevron, James Fearnley, Jem Finer, Darryl Hunt, Shane MacGowan, Andrew Ranken, Spider Stacy and Terry Woods. There is no reason whatever, at this stage, to suppose that any one of them will be replaced on these shows by a cardboard cut out, an inflatable doll, a statue of St Martin de Porres or any other non-Pogues manifestation, animate or inanimate..." (Philip Chevron at the Medusa fora) Maybe not any non-Pogues manifestation... but cardboard Shane is surely Pogues manifestation, isn’t he?
© MacRua, Zuzana, 2007       photo © unknown