Snow White Revisited
M: MacRua is a naive, helpful and kind creature at the court of some King. He is cruelly persecuted by ambitious and jealous Queen! She made a plot to move MacRua off the court, to send him away from the King... she slandered him first, then tried a high treason indictment and finally enticed him to the forest (It was really nasty scheming! She promised a picnic - girls, drinks and fun)...

Z: Hmm, hmm. I see it in a different light. MacRua - cunning weasel. He didn’t like the rigid life at court, was horrified of the prospect of having to take up the duties one day soon. So dear MacRua concocted a plot, escaped to the forest to lead a lazy life and blamed everything on the poor, unsuspecting queen...

M: But he survived! What is more, surrounded by squirrels, weasels and rats he enjoyed himself and somehow warmed himself into dwarves confidence (maybe promised to raise productivity of dwarves' excavations in a safe for environment way and effective tax avoidance?)...

He settles himself in a house there, lives a luxurious life, makes friends with some local fays and every stupid day he draws himself into stupor with different natural products (mushrooms, berries, fairy dust).

Z: When he runs out of the stuff, the dwarves willingly supply him with more - as they know it is better to keep him in the stupor. When he is awake and sober, he terrorizes them like a despot...

M: ... but when he is in his inner Mongolia nothing can drive him back, even dwarves songs!

Z: Once he is in his "inner Mongolia" for a longer time than usual and the dwarves find it suspicious. They pretend to worry, but in fact they cherish the hope that they got rid of him once and forever. They place him in a glass coffin...

M: Permanently ventilated with .. well... with something ether for example

Z: And here, the hardworking prince appears on the scene. He is tired. He is overworked. He is fed up with life. He has to spend all his days making crucial decisions and listening to the complaints of the proles, or even crushing their petty revolts. He decides to take a ride through the forest to clean his head...

M: Wait! MacRua was whiter shade of pale (that forest's atmosphere wasn't so healthy maybe)! That's why they used to call him Snow White! (but nobody dared to say it to his pretty pale face)

Z: You got it! And that was also the reason for the following misunderstanding.
The prince rides and rides... and as the ways of fate are twisted, suddenly he bumps into the glass coffin. He sees somebody lying inside. Somebody so blindingly, dazzlingly white that the weary eyes of the prince are led to believe it is a pretty maiden...
As the prince opens the lid, a cloud of ether puffs up, dazzling his vision further.

M: Actually prince didn't give a fuck (despite his name wasn't MacRua) about who it was (male or female). He smelled some ether and decided he had to have a breath.. To restore his strength and to support his country, you know. For the welfare of his country!! Nothing else!

Z: So he opened the lid, inhaled deeply... and the sweet ether was so strong that it knocked him down and he fell face-first into the coffin.
To curious eyes peeping from behind trees (and there were such, the dwarves constantly kept checking on the feared MacRua and supplying him with the gas), it seemed like the prince was bowing for a kiss. But in fact, it was the impact of the prince’s heavy body (he wasn’t much into exercise, you know) what finally woke MR. from his stupor.
MacRua struggled into a sitting position with great effort. "Where I am?" he blinked. "And what is this fucker doing atop me?" He disgustedly kicked the still-dazed prince aside.

M: Then he (being a kind soul) decided to follow prince and help him with his country....
Thus a 300PA (pounds attorney) turned into 3000PA (prince advisor).

Z: Industriously supplying the prince with ether and stuff to turn him into an obliging puppet? In fact, the prince didnt mind. In fact, he was happy. Finally he could laze the days away while others were making decisions and serving to the country!

M: But not before prince begged a huge pardon, MacRua generously pardonned him, they had a peace pipe smoking, and happily burnt down dwarves' estate and half of the fairy forest...

Z: And as MacRua didn’t go out of his dark den in a remote tower of prince's castle much and as tales about the forest kiss were flowing on the wings of gossip, soon most of the country believed that the prince found a beutiful maiden in the forest, woke her from eternal sleep caused by an evil queen and now they live happily ever after. And that’s how fairytales are born...

© MacRua, Zuzana, 2006
photo © unknown