Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!
The Pogues have announced the following shows in England, Scotland and Ireland in December, 2009.
(...) Friday, Dec 4: Dublin, Olympia Theatre (...)
***
It was December 4 in Dublin’s fair city... The morning of December 4, to be precise. Olympia Theatre was only waking up and getting ready for the first of the string of several Pogues gigs... when a fan’s review was published at the Pogues website.
Rial:
Mega gig!
Rocking audience had a great time in a great venue.
The best band ever were enjoying themselves on a great stage.
Shane was in a grand form.
The setlist was pretty much the same i.e. traditionally super!
Thank you. Come next year!
Time travel? Dr Who? Alien technology? Speculations abounded. And the band called an emergency meeting...
***
PHILIP: Guys, we have a problem. If our shows follow their reviews nobody will go to our gigs, they will read pre-gig reviews...
ALL: Awful!! What to do?!
SPIDER: I don’t give a fuck! If they hate us I’ll hate them more!!
PHILIP: Nobody hates you, Spider! But if they stop going to our shows you’ll stop getting your money!
SPIDER: I do not give a fu... WHAT?! Awful!! What to do?!
PHILIP: Thats why I asked you all to gather here. We should change something. To make our show unpredictable. To put that cheating reviewer to shame!
ALL: The setlist?! Awful...
SPIDER: I’m not going to do something for twats who don’t even know what’s going on with my dear band!!
PHILIP: No, to change the setlist would be a bit too much, I am not going to push you into such sacrifice.
ALL: Uhhhh... (a sigh of relief)
SPIDER: Yes!! Fuck those picky fuckers.
TERRY: Stage design?
ANDREW: Leave the stage alone! I can’t drum when there are no collapsing houses behind me!
ALL: Awful!
SPIDER: And if I get pissed off...
PHILIP: We know, Spider! Nobody is going to change stage design as well.
JEM: I don’t want to buy another suit! I like my gear from previous years! If Marcia sews it and washes it... I can still look perfectly OK.
ALL: Awful...
PHILIP: Guys! Do not get distracted! We have to change something about the show in general... That bastard said it was a great gig? We must fuck it up... He said it was a great venue? We can ask Paul and he’ll make the sound unbearable... Great audince? Let’s give away free drinks! Let’s lure in all drunks and bullies!! Great stage? Let’s turn the lights off!
ANDREW: But I can’t drum without...
PHILIP: Collapsing houses will be there!! I promise! They said Shane was in great form? We can have a talk with Joey...
SPIDER: I’m not going to beg the twat!
DARRYL (with a doubt): Maybe we can just keep Shane away from stage? Even sober Shane?
PHILIP: Good, Darryl! Even great!! That’s what I call creativity! We just won’t let Shane on stage at all. Fans call his form great even if he sings from the floor, it’s hard to spoil it for them, so no Shane is our only option indeed.
JAMES (carefully): But the reviewer metioned the setlist and said it was the same i.e. great...
ALL: We are not going to change the setlist, are we?!
PHILIP: No, but we can make it twice shorter!!
ALL: Splendid!! Great!!
SPIDER: Fuck ’em all, fuckers...
THE END
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