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I enjoy crappy websites. That doesn't mean that I
necessarily enjoy bad websites (though many crappy
ones are, in fact, bad). What generally makes me enjoy
a site (as opposed to like or, God forbid, find a site
useful) is when the author just doesn't realize how
badly they shouldn't make this information
available to the world, or the site is thoroughly
tongue in cheek. Even better is when you're not
entirely sure which you're looking at.
Here's some of the finest that we've encountered at
Netscape...
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Mentos
- The Freshmaker!
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C'mon. Admit it. You've always had an overwhelming
desire to know all about each of these
commercials. In how many ways have Mentos (The
Freshmaker) helped plucky young spirits brighten an
otherwise dreary situation?
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DixieNet:
League of the South Homepage
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Celebrating a proud history of bigotry, intolerance,
xenophobia, a single digit age of consent, and
dozens of US Presidents. "Your web site shore do
have a purdy mouth." - Aside: I recently saw a
bumper sticker that nearly made me have to pull to
the side of the road to laugh. It featured the Stars
& Bars beside text that read "You Lost. Get Over
It."
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Beershots
- Photos of Beer from around the World
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Pictures of Beer. From around the world. Under a
microscope. Really. - Yes, some things are probably
best left to the imagination.
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BlowTheDotOutYourAss.com
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Join the counter-revolution. Print stickers. Let the
world know what to do with all these
"dot-coms."
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Roadkill
Bingo
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Turns every roadtrip into something the whole family
can enjoy! Imagine the miles melting away as you
cruise America's highways in your
Winnabego!
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Turning
"Hog Waste" into Riches
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Scientist Hayseeds in North Carolina find something
new to do with all them hogs. Creative little
bastards. "That thar pig lays what we like to think
of as mushy gold."
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The Happy Man
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"If You're Happy and You Know it..." It's a very
happy goomba. He looks ... well
... happy. Really. Or maybe "happy" is not really
the right word. Let's try "strangely psychotic, in
that odd way that makes you want to walk on the
other side of the street."
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ElvisSightings.com
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I'm really not sure which is more sad; that this
page was ever created, or that it eventually shut
down "to preserve the memory of
Elvis."
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The
Glory of Spam
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Yet another spectacular page dedicated to that
culinary delight, Spam. Sometimes I think that I
have too much time on my hands when I put together
lists like this. Then I see pages like this and am
quickly reminded that other people have even more
time on their hands.
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Thailand
Strippers
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The chronicles of one man's quest to fulfill a life
dream - to see a ping-pong ball shot from the
vagina. This whole experience is, quite simply,
disturbing.
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Rapture
Ready
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Are you worried about the Rapture? Not sure how
prepared you should be (I mean, really. Who wants to
have all those spare Rapture supplies handy if the
Rapture isn't going to happen for a while yet? For
that matter, why be pious until absolutely
necessary?)? This page will help you know when and
what to expect. Also be sure to check the
Post-Rapture Survival Guide.
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Bordello
Diaries
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One man's diaries about his "hundreds of visits to
the bordellos of Nevada."
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The Nude Suit
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Have you ever wanted to go nude, but couldn't?!
Now's your chance to have everything think you're
nude while you can smugly be assured that you're
not nude! The mind literally boggles at how
utterly messed up people are when things like this
actually exist. I really want to get one of these
for all my relatives this
Christmas.
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Star Trek Barbie
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Dark things were afoot in late 1996. The Forces of
Light (Gene Roddenberry's 1960's Star Trek)
waged a fitful battle with The Forces of Dark
(Mattel's immortal Barbie). The result of
this cataclysmic conflict? Star Trek
Barbie. Dear Lord...
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Dukes
Reunion
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Dukes of Hazzard reunion in 1997? How could I
have possibly missed this? I'd have bought some
Twinkies, Ho-Hos, and Cheez-Wiz just for the
occasion. Damn!
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Americans
for Cloning Elvis
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There's nothing I can say that will do better than
the text on the page itself: "Bacteria, sheep,
monkeys--all cloned! Some fear the possibilities. I
urge you to seize them. Americans for Cloning Elvis
(ACE) requests your support."
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Gallery
of Lawn Ornaments
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Gnomes, flamingos, football team logos, Oh
My!
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Cabbage
Patch Birthing Chamber
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So this is where they come from! This is one
of those times when I think I could actually support
a carpet-bombing.
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Ladies'
Memory - A Collection of Sanitary Napkins
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So you're thinking "sanitary napkins?" Yes, sanitary
napkins. And you're thinking "that doesn't help me
here." Ok - try this. "Feminine hygiene product."
"Pads." Whatever. I'm unsure if the curator is male
or female, but I'm fairly certain that the
collection is in its pristine, unused state (I
really, really hope this is the case). The page is
in Japanese, so I can't get a whole lot of detail
out of it.
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Kevin's
Oddly Different Story Time
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Children's stories the way you wish they'd been. If
these were movies they'd get marketing like "A
Modern Retelling of the Classics!"
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RealDoll.com
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Have you ever thought that it's be nice if you could
just take a partner out of the closet, soak her in
the tub for a half hour (to warm her up), and not
have any real commitments? I've never really thought
so either, but it seems there's enough people out
there that do think $5k is reasonable for
this fantasy that they're keeping Real Doll in
business.
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Poor White
Trash
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"Your Online Vintage Shopping Experience." Makers of
the famous "Trailer Trash Doll" (Barbie's neglected
cousin, really).
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Innocent
Inanimate Objects
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This man (we'll just call him "Joseph") has made
quite a hobby out of shooting stuff with a high
speed camera and a gun. "Blow shit
up."
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The
Life and Times of a 41-Year Old Virgin
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A massively long web journal documenting (as the
title indicates) the life and times of a 41-year old
virgin.
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Gangsta Haiku
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my krew don't throw blows
we come runnin and gunnin
strappin and cappin
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Things
My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About
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Other people's misery is fun. I nearly had milk
coming out of my nose from laughter while reading
this.
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Pathetic Brit Looks for Date
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The Internet is about empowering people - across
streets, states and yes, even entire globes. This
man is using this nifty technology to cut out the
middle-man in personal ads and bring his plea for
companionship straight to you.
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Will I
See Fido In Heaven?
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Finally someone is willing to step forward and
answer all those questions about animal souls - Do
they Have Souls (if shoes get to have them, why can'
dogs?), do they have their own Heaven (the famous
"Doggie Heaven"?), does God love
animals?
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Signifying Honkies
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All those confusing hand gestures that white rappers
use are finally explained.
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Sir Lancelot's Castle
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There is nothing I can say that would do this site
justice. I simply hope that this man spent most of
his high school career pantsed in the girl's
bathroom or trying to get out of a
dumpster.
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Christian
Dinkum straight from Australia
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The spiritual diary of a really disappointed
Australian Christian.
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Ask
Winnie
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I thought child stars were supposed to turn bad,
wash-out on drugs, steal stuff, and eventually
become rent-a-cops. Strangely Winnie Cooper from
The Wonder Years (Danica something) has
decided to go the other route...
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Furniture Porn
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Discover the erotic pleasures of hot Furniture on
Furniture. There's a reason why those wacky
Victorians covered the legs of their
pianos.
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Watch
Corn Grow
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For those days when watching paint dry is just a
little too adreinaline pumping.
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